Thursday Horoscopes! Good times ahead!

AQUARIUS
Decide to be compassionate around people you don’t like. They deserve some respect.

PISCES
Buy something big — or at least something nice — for yourself, even if it means adding a bit of debt. You deserve it and should be able to handle it without owing too much to the banks for too long.

ARIES
Stop examining the groups tension so closely. Try to put it out of your mind and don’t add to it.

TAURUS
If you’ve been keeping a secret, now might be a good time to let it go. At least one good friend can help you with your problems, but you need to open up completely first. It’ll be worth it!

GEMINI
You may have to ask for clarification a dozen times today — and still not know what’s really going on. It s just one of those days when communication lines are temporarily crossed or down.

CANCER
Pay attention to your daydreams – there’s some good clues about what to do next. You may actually need to zone out for a while in order to be more productive.

LEO
Try not to freak out too much today if things don’t go as planned. See it as an opportunity and a learning experience.

VIRGO
You’ve got to deal with slow people today, but you can do it with much greater tolerance than usual. If you can focus on stuff that doesn’t require collaboration, you should do just fine.

LIBRA
Show people that you can stick to your guns when you feel strongly about an issue.

SCORPIO
Let your mischievous side come out to play for a little while today — have fun.

SAGITTARIUS
There s no need to worry that you are losing things today — it can be replaced.

CAPRICORN
You will have a lot of compassionate energy today. Use it on a needy friend.

THAT’S WHAT’S GOING ON IN YOUR WORLD TODAY….

ON YOUR MORNING BOUNCE HOROSCOPE!!!

Another hottie for the list!

Here’s another potential for Cash and this one’s feisty.

“Cash is already my boyfriend, he knows it.”

Perks!

The Morning BOUNCE met some great people on Monday at the Voyageur Lakes Kids Academy. The little kids were adorable and Jordan Knight and Amber loved their “grace” they said before the meal. *Snaps*

If you need your Monday perked, simply write Jordan @ jordan@1013thebounce.com.

Total Diva Pets

You MUST check out this site. It’s all kinds of classic.

http://totaldivapets.com/index.php

That is one beautiful cat.

Just give me the light

Yesterday morning, The Morning BOUNCE received some crazy phone calls from people reportedly seeing colourful lights in the sky. They thought we might be in for a Tuesday morning alien invasion; sadly it was not to be.

Instead, it was “ice crystals in the sky”. Here is a pic from the UK, but this is what several people saw yesterday over Shearwater.

All the single ladies…

Okay, so it’s official – everyone wants to be Cash Conners girlfriend!!

Here is what The Morning BOUNCE has received so far.

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Oh Jordan, I can’t believe that I’m even coming to the rescue of Cash on the issue of brown eyes v.s. other eye colours… But I can sort of feel where he’s coming from. My good girlfriend and I are two single girls – who are above 5’9 and we have a steadfast rule that we don’t date guys that are way shorter than us…. Just from personal experience. It makes slow dancing awkward, you can never wear heels… But maybe there’s a male “security” issue in there too

But, just for the hell of it, attached is a photo of myself and my girl. We wish Cash the best of luck!

Here are the pics:

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Here’s another great letter:

I love Brown eyes…they look like Chocolate. Well I’m not sure of your age Cash..I may be to old for you. I’m 41, So I’m a “WOMAN” not a girl. So my girlfriend and I are thinking about advertising me ourselves…I mean putting out and all out campaign everywhere to find my match. Because like you, finding your dream mate is very hard, but it can be done.
People can say, don’t be so picky, or don’t limit yourself to certain, looks, colour, traits, race…ect… but the truth is we all have that mental image in our head of who we see ourselves with.
So with that being said…I would love to join you on your quest!.

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Even friends are trying to set up friends:

Hi Jordan, I am writing this for my shy friend. She heard about Cash needing a Girlfriend and thought it would be worth a shot. She too is feeling like it is hard to find love. She was going to email herself but she chickened out!!! SO… I have taken over and am attaching a picture of her at a recent Party and it will definetly get Cash’s attention. She is so sweet and fun, loves to workout and her and Cash have a lot in common ( based on the Q&A on the website ) Anyway, give this email to Cash ( if that is his real name??) and lets see what happens…

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Check out this letter:

I would like to apply for the position of Cash Connor’s girlfriend!!
Pretty sure I don’t have a chance since I have blond hair and blue eyes, but what the hell right? Sure I’m up for wearing a wig and contacts!
I read his personality quiz and it seems like we would get along great! He is definitely my senior, but that’s ok…I can handle the older fellas! I am 25 and I love to have a good time. I love going to parties, my drink of choice is Corona.
I currently attend NSCC @ the Waterfront Campus…getting my learn on! Don’t want a dead end job no mo!
Anyway just thought this would be fun to try out!

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You can thank this woman for the naked Cash picture; this was in the inspiration for creating that masterpiece!

Hey. So we need more info on Cash. How tall is he? And that pic. We need a better pic. To see how cute he is.
Oh and that nonsense about only dating girls with brown eyes. Pffft.

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So, all these ladies are invited to Fahrenheit Friday @ the Dome this Friday night. It’s a Stoplight party so you wear red if you’re taken, yellow if you are unsure and green if you’re single and good to go! It’s going to be so much fun and hopefully, our friend Cash will find his brown eyed girl!! Good luck, Cash-ola!

Cash Hasselhoff

Tuesday – what’s in the stars for you!

AQUARIUS
Take a big step forward — you know where you want to go and the path is clear. Nobody can question your ambition or your talent and you can make a lot of progress on your own right now.

PISCES
Your brainpower is amazingly strong and you should be able to explain things much more easily to those you know well. Strangers might not get it, but eventually even they can be shown the way.

ARIES
It’s a good day to revisit your goals – maybe it’s time to get even more ambitious than ever! Your optimism and enthusiasm should be plenty to carry you ahead for a while.

TAURUS
You need to set things straight with coworkers or friends today — in fact, you might have to lay down the law! Folks are likely to act out in odd ways, but you’ve got to keep them from going too far.

GEMINI
A mellow friend has some advice — their influence in your life is good, so go ahead and listen.

CANCER
Even though it might feel as if things are falling apart, most of today’s change is positive. Address it with your brain and save your heart’s responses for later. You can totally handle this.

LEO
If you feel like you’re missing out on a joke, don’t let it weaken your confidence.

VIRGO
Today you will have to rely on your intuition. Be open-minded and watch for signs — they won’t look like how you expect.

LIBRA
Your generosity could get you into trouble. Lend your ear, but don’t lend any money! If by chance you do feel the urge to give…give without the expectation of getting it back.

SCORPIO
The time for new people and new ideas has come — be open to exploring new places!
A big surprise comes your way early today when someone you thought you knew well blows your mind with a big outburst. It s not a sign of impending doom — just the need for more attention

SAGITTARIUS
Whether you’re looking for a date, a new friend or just someone interesting to talk with, it’s a good day for you to say hello to strangers. Anything can happen and the time is right for action!

CAPRICORN
Lot’s of thinking going on in that head of yours lately…There is no time like the present to get started on your future! Make a plan today and start taking the steps you need to get your goals and dreams accomplished. The only real thing stopping you is…YOU!

THAT’S WHAT’S GOING ON IN YOUR WORLD TODAY….

ON YOUR MORNING BOUNCE HOROSCOPE!!!

The MTX Male Translator

Wow, getting schooled in the ways of the male brain this morning. It’s kind of scary!

Here’s what we asked so far:

1. Do you want to go to the mall?

Sure, I’d love to go the mall with you.

MTX male translation: That doesn’t sound like fun at all, but if it means getting closer to your pants, sure I’ll do it.

2. Can you give me a massage and then can we cuddle?

Sure, baby, I’d love to do that.

MTX male translation: Sure, no sex. Sounds like fun. Why am I with you again?

3. Honey, I think it’s time we start a family.

What happens, happens.
Let’s play it by ear.

MTX male translation: Wow, this bee-otch is trippin’. I’ll get a vasectomy next week. She’ll never know.

Wow!

Now, we’re still looking for a girlfriend for Cash Connors! We’ve received a number of responses and if you want to apply to be his girlfriend e-mail Jordan Knight: jordan@1013thebounce.com.

LOL. Someone just called and they want a nudie picture of Cash. We’ll see if we can wrangle one up!

Cash’s personality quiz

1. When do you feel your best?

After a workout.

2. You usually walk, drive or use public transit?

Drive. Toyota RAV4. Bought it brand new in 2001 thinking I’d soon need something big enough to fit a young family. I was a little premature on that one LOL

3. When people speak to you, you…..

Listen intently

4. When relaxing, you sit with….

The bathroom fan on?

5. When something really amuses you, you react with….

Laughter and excitement that could rival a teenage girl
(ed. note: this is so true)

6. When you go to a party or social gathering you…

Hang in the kitchen with a Corona. The kitchen in the social epicenter of a party!

7. You’re working very hard, concentrating hard, and you’re interrupted. Do you..

Finally get back to work after 30 minutes or more of distraction … unless the Ritalin’s kicked in

8. What colour do you like most?

Car – Silver
Hair and eye color on a woman – Brown
Sports team – Red (Go Sens Go!)
Dress – black
Food – What color would cheeseburger be? I can has cheeseburger?

9. When you are in bed at night, in those last few moments before going to sleep, you lie:

On my back. I can’t sleep on my front or side because my arms will fall asleep. Its amusing at first because you can’t feel or move them … but then the pins and needles kick in. That sucksssss!

10. You often dream that you are:

Being chased and stung by a swarm of bees that turn into little electric fuzzballs that shock me. The fuzzballs look like a dandelion when it’s a fluffy seed weed. Weird, I know.

11.How far ahead have you planned your life?

I used to have my life planned out waaaay in advance. When I was 20 I wanted to be married by 23, kids by 26. I’m 31 now. Needless to say I don’t plan things out so much anymore … when you do you have to keep changing your goals/dates. I DO however have a few important dates I’m anticipating. 2021 my first house will be paid off … 2023 my second house will be paid off. When I was 24 I had my palm read and the reader told me I’d own 2 houses by age 45. (I couldn’t let her be wrong could I?)

12. You had plans with a friend, and they cancelled on you, what would you do?

Make new plans. Why get upset? Things happen. Life’s too short to sweat the petty things … instead, pet the sweaty things! Hi-yo! LOL

13. From this list below, choose your favorite game.

Scrabble

Charades

Battleship

***Truth or Dare***

***Solitaire***

***Poker***

14. When you’ve had a long day, what do you do to relax?

Grab a beer, curl up on the couch and watch TV.

15. You’re driving around with a group of friends and have gotten lost in a neighborhood you’ve never been to before. What do you do?

Ask directions. Not all men are idiots LOL

16. You’re at a park and see a little kid fall and start crying, but her parents didn’t see. What do you do?

Help find her parents.

17. Do you have lots of friends?

Facebook or real? LOL Yes to both

18. You think a date went well if.

There’s a second date.

19.Describe your bedroom?

Clean. I’m a neat freak. I have a queen size bed with a pillow top mattress. I love my bed. It’s so soft you sink into it.

20. What types of movies do you prefer?

I like all movies … unless it stars Mike Myers … and lately Adam Sandler’s movies have been crap. I guess it all depends on what type of mood I’m in. I enjoy everything from dramas to suspense, action to adventure. Of course, I AM a sucker for romantic comedies. Anything with Drew Barrymore, Julia Roberts or Isla Fisher in it and I’m good to go!

23. If you knew that tomorrow you were going to die, how would you spend the last day of your life?

With family and friends. I’d let them know how much they mean to me. Appreciate what you’ve got because it could all be gone tomorrow