I feel zombie-ish.

Do you sense a theme here?

Today was just one of those days!!

We asked about 3 words to describe your morning. Some of the ones from Facebook were hysterical! “Where’s my pants?” and “Kids are fighting”. Yikes!

This lady was the highlight of the day. Hope the coffee woke you up, girl!

Rumpology 101

From Amber’s News You Can’t Use:

Rumpology, also known as butt reading, is the art of reading the lines, crevices, dimples, and folds of the buttocks to divine the butt owner’s character and get a glimpse of what lies ahead by analyzing what trails behind.

According to Jacqueline Stallone, a foremost American rumpologist, rump reading is an art that was practiced in ancient Babylon, India, Greece, and Rome. She claims that the ancient Greeks thought the butt was the key to health and fidelity. She says the Romans used butt prints the way some people use graphology today: to determine potential talents and future success.

She does readings by mail. Just send her a digital photo of your rump and she will analyze it for a fee ($125, and she takes major credit cards and PayPal). Her website includes examples of appropriate rump shots, including one of “a male action hero movie star,” “a Jewish princess,” and “a Fortune 500 CEO.” She’ll not only give you a butt reading for your money, but she’ll send you an 8 1/2 x 11 glossy color print of your butt, suitable for framing.

Stallone has not been tested by Dr. Gary “The Validator” Schwartz at his psychic-testing clinic at the University of Arizona, but her son Sylvester says that his mother’s greatest talent is her ability to see the future.* It is likely, though, that were she tested by The Validator her clients would rate her accuracy at 75%-80% due to the Barnum and Forer effect.

Stallone claims that the left and right butt cheeks reveal a person’s past and future, respectively. She says she has a degree in chemistry, but she must not have studied anatomy or physiology. She claims any doctor will tell you that the body is like a warehouse which stores everything. She thinks that the right buttocks represents the left cerebral hemisphere of the brain, while the left buttocks represents the right hemisphere. Her rump report, she says, can tell you “whether you are going ass-backwards (into that little closet called the left brain)” or are going forward with the right brain.

National Chocolate Day!

The Morning BOUNCE sent our first contestant for our “unique” person search out for National Chocolate Day.

Lindsay had to convince people to put chocolate sauce on their heads because of all the “health” benefits.

Well, this girl was successful and she actually did it herself!!

Check it out!

Lindsay before the sauce:

Lindsay after!

Here is Peter and crew who got crazy with the sauce!

MJ’s Ghost?

Keep watching the doorway when they get into the house!

MB SCOPES FOR TUES, JULY 7TH, 2009

Virgos, Caps, Scorps and Pisces, get a free pass today. For the rest, it could be an emotional rollercoaster, it all depends on how you choose to handle it. The beauty…U R IN CONTROL!!!

CANCER
When it comes to work, think Vegas…What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas…What happens at work stays at work. Even though today might be a bit tough at work, when you’re done …you’re done. Don’t bring work issues home with you today

LEO
Today is perfect for reconciling differences with loved ones, or even with coworkers. You are much more willing to let go of ego concerns, and the odds are good that they will be, too! Go ahead make the first move!

VIRGO
If you’re not having fun, you’re wasting time. Keep things light and playful. Avoid anything confrontational or messy today. If it’s not urgent, ignore it and it might go away or deal with it on another day.

LIBRA
Try not to bite anyone’s head off when you hear something that doesn’t sit well with you. It might be hard for you to accept someone’s authority right now, but sometimes you’ve got to bite your tongue and ride it out.

SCORPIO
No cruise control for you today Scorp. It’s one of those days when you really need to be out at the forefront of your industry or neighborhood. Things are happening, but you need to lead the way! Your energy is perfect for making changes

SAGITTARIUS
If you’re feeling restless or otherwise needy, try to find a new way to curb these emotions. Don’t go shopping when you can go for a walk.

CAPRICORN
Good news comes your way today, probably rather early, but potentially at any time. Your good energy helps you make the most of your day and you may find yourself launching in a new direction quickly. Keep an open mind!

AQUARIUS
You got way too much going on and a bunch of things that aren’t quite complete. Right about now you might feel a bit overwhelmed. Do not volunteer for anything else…focus on what’s in front of you.

PISCES
Your people are much more likely to help you out today, even with tasks that you don’t think you need assistance with. It’s a good day to remind yourself why you do the things you do. You are loved baby!

ARIES
It’s a bit of an odd day for you. You need to really connect with at least one person, but they may be unusually hard to reach. Try your best to just roll with the day and whatever it offers without getting frustrated.

TAURUS
It’s not easy for you to see things from another perspective, but don’t let that stop you. It may seem weird at first, but give it a try…you never know what you might find or learn. Stretch and grow should be your mantra today.

GEMINI
A seemingly simple task turns out to be much harder than you had anticipated, so you should do whatever it takes to get it done — even if you have to eliminate or delegate everything else! By any means necessary is your motto today!

THAT’S WHAT ‘S GOING ON IN YOU WORLD TODAY…
ON YOUR MORNING BOUNCE HOROSCOPE