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2) Police begin campaign to run down jaywalkers
3) Never withhold herpes infection from loved one
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Image via clevelandseniors.com
2) Police begin campaign to run down jaywalkers
3) Never withhold herpes infection from loved one
A physician claims these are actual comments from his patients made while he was performing colonoscopies.

Image via mdtestservices.com
1) “Take it easy, Doc, you’re boldly going where no man has gone before.”
3) “Could you write me a note for my wife, saying that my head is not, in fact, up there?”
4) * ”If your hand doesn’t fit, you must acquit!”
BEWARE, there is strong language, but this is funny!
A woman can’t parallel park a Smart Car in a big parking spot. They say “only stupid people buy the car to feel smart… Everyone knows that!”
Your daily blog post courtesy of Chatters Salon!


IF TODAY IS YOUR BIRTHDAY:
You want to help other people but how do you go about it? Ask yourself this: what are you most passionate about? Once you have answered that question you will know what you have to do over the coming 12 months.
ARIES (March 21 – April 20):
You seem to be worrying about something that is not worth the hassle. No matter how much something may be bothering you, be it personal or professional, it is almost certainly of no consequence, so let it go.
TAURUS (April 21 – May 21):
The message of the stars is clear and to the point: don’t be hasty. You will get your chance to shine early next month but for now you are advised to take things easy and hang back a bit. There’s no rush.
GEMINI (May 22 – June 21):
You will have to deal with someone’s negative emotions today, and without getting negative or emotional yourself. This is one of the best times of the year for you, so don’t let pessimistic types spoil it.
CANCER (June 22 – July 23):
Do you ignore a problem and hope that it will just go away? Yes you do. This is one of those occasions when what looks like a problem really isn’t much a problem at all, so pretend it doesn’t exist – and it won’t.
LEO (July 24 – Aug. 23):
Be careful what you say today because if you are not careful in your choice of words someone could take it the wrong way and cause a scene. Better to say nothing than to say the wrong thing.
VIRGO (Aug. 24 – Sept. 23):
Look on the bright side today, even if the news you receive is dark. According to the planets you have little to worry about but being a Virgo you will worry anyway – it’s your nature. Focus more on what makes you smile.
LIBRA (Sept. 24 – Oct. 23):
This is potentially one of the most exciting times of the year, so why are you so fearful that something bad is going to happen? Whatever the reason you need to get over it or you could miss out on the fun.
SCORPIO (Oct. 24 – Nov. 22):
Try not to dwell on news, especially if it is news that involves people you care for. Chances are you are taking the situation too seriously, certainly more seriously than anyone else is taking it. Calm down.
SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 23 – Dec. 21):
The signals you are getting from colleagues and employers are jumbled to say the least, so it might be wise to ignore what other people are saying and follow your instincts instead. They won’t let you down.
CAPRICORN (Dec. 22 – Jan. 20):
You may be logical by nature but something seems to be going wrong at the moment and you are imagining all sorts of weird and wonderful things. That’s okay – Capricorns are allowed to fantasize like everyone else.
AQUARIUS (Jan. 21 – Feb. 19):
Although you feel confident and full of life this is probably not a good day to take chances. Today’s cosmic picture is clouding your ability to separate fact from fiction, and that could lead to mistakes.
PISCES (Feb. 20 – Mar. 20):
The sun in Aquarius at this time of year makes you more suspicious than usual but maybe that’s no bad thing. Sometimes you can be a bit too trusting for your own good. Be on your guard and take nothing for granted.